R.I.P.

I would like everyone to take a moment of silence in reflection of the accidental disposal of our sacred lemonhead.


And then take a moment to yell at OttoBock for trashing it at his birthday luncheon. I ingeniously hid the lemonhead in his cupcake and he swallowed it whole--wrapper and all.

Psych! He forgot to grab the lemonhead after we left the restaurant and now we must find a new game to entertain ourselves with on the clock.

Maybe Bear can bring us back a defective treat from the UK?? One can only hope.

xoxo,
Bushbaby

Forget Bull Riding

GOLDEN MAN!

The team arrives in Astana. I slept the whole way. It is 5am here. This city is amazing. All the major buildings, actually all the buildings, have been put up in the last 10 years. Before that the city was just a potato farming community. Now it has sky scrapers and Golden Man.

The first day we visit some museums and take a look around the city. Nothing to funny happened.

I am put to work on Monday. Once work starts there is not really any excitement. We go out to eat. I am tricked into thinking I ate horse meat. Thank goodness I didn't.
The funniest thing that occurred was on Tuesday. We all go bowling. J sees it as a good group building exercise. One of my teammates, we will call him R, says he has never bowled before. No big deal. I am up first. I get all nervous and roll two gutter balls. Dang it. R is after me. He finds the heaviest bowling ball the place has. Picks it up and raises it above his head. R then proceeds to move the bowling ball in giant circles above his head and runs full speed at the lane. He more or less shot puts the ball down the alley. I can't remember how many pins he hit because I was doubled over from laughing so hard. R turns around laughing and gives me the thumbs up and we high five. R's next time up he dances with the ball before hurling it down the lane. Every time he gets up he has a new move. During one of his performances he is so into it that as he lets go of the ball he slips and fall face first on to the ground! It didn't bother him at all because that throw got him his first strike! I do not think I have ever had so much fun or laughed so hard.

Golden Man is some guy that died in Kazakhstan a long time ago. The picture above shows what he was buried in. He has no ties to Kazakhstan other than being buried here, but he is everywhere. There are tons of statues of him all over the city standing on a tiger. I don’t get it.

Someone On Our Team Almost Goes To Jail

We arrive in Vienna. I am on no sleep. We have a twelve hour layover. I am excited about grabbing some shut eye. Instead the group decides to go for a walk about and grab some lunch. Then we would come back to the airport and have a nap with a full belly. Sounds good to me.

We take the train into the city. J says that he has been to Vienna tons of times and takes the lead. We walk around and look at some buildings and statues. After about an hour the group realizes that J has no idea where we are or where we are going. We are lost. We ask for directions and I think that the people in that city were screwing with us because they would always tell us different ways. The map we had did not have individual street names. It was a subway map. After walking for, no joke, 3 hours we arrive at the area in Vienna that J wanted us to see. We walked all that way to see a church. Are you kidding me! We came here for this!? I put on a good face and go inside and prayed that the group would want to go back to the airport soon. We visit 3 or 4 more churches. If I wasn't so tired I am sure I would have appreciated them more. For lunch we stop for at a cafe for some coffee. I wolf down some small sandwich they had on the menu.

J says that we really should go see the rose garden. Vienna is famous for it. I am starting to think this guy is crazy. We head off in the direction J thinks is the rose garden. Along the way we come across the Vienna Spanish Riding School. This place looks cool. If we had stayed the weekend here I would have made someone come with me to see it. We keep walking around the building. Out of the corner of my eye I spot the stables where they keep some of the horses. There were giant windows for people to look into the main area of the stables. There was also two giant french doors. One of the doors were open. I was not sure if this was on purpose of if someone had just forgotten to shut the door. B walks straight through the doors and starts getting close to the horses and checking them out. I am not sure he is suppose to be in there. The rest of the group, including myself, stay on the outside and watch B walk around the stables. All of the sudden we hear a bunch of noise behind us. There are 6 men coming our way with horses. It looks as though they just finished practicing with them. Oh no. B is about to get in trouble. The first two guys enter the stable with their horses and don’t notice B. The third guy sees him right away. He starts scream at B! B is totally shock. I can barely stand from laughing so hard.


We find the rose garden. There are hardly any roses in bloom. It is still too early. I sit on a bench to rest my feet while J goes around and smells the roses that are in bloom. The thing I did notice is that all of the birds in Vienna are freaking huge! The pigeons look like little piglets. The crows are so massive I am astonish they can even make it off the ground.

We convince J to take us back to the airport. The whole group has seen enough of Vienna. We get lost on our way back to the train. J says "Put me in the woods and I can find anything. Put me in a city and I get lost in two seconds." He is not joking. We find a police officer and ask him where the train to the airport. He informs us that we are on the totally opposite side of Vienna. We tar and feather J.

We arrive back at the airport with 4 hours to spare. I decide to stay away and just sleep on the plane.

Why does no one wear shoes on a plane?

I get to the airport and go to get my tickets and check my luggage. The lady at the counter says that we have a full flight and she will have to weigh my carry on. It is 3lbs to heavy. I have to check my carry on. I tried to plan my luggage so that if my checked bag gets lost I will still have back up clothes in my carry on that can last me one or two days. Now I am screwed. All I take on the plane is my cell phone and a laptop.

I am kind of excited to see if both pieces of luggage make it. If they lose both I will be shopping for a new suit in Kazakhstan.

The plane is huge, three rows. Two seats on the sides and three seats in the middle. I get an aisle seat in the middle and it is in the emergency row. I have no seats in front of me just a wall. Tons of leg room. This flight is going to be a cake walk. Then I see her, and her baby. They plop down right beside me. We have not even shut the door to the plane before the baby starts to cry. The mom, a German woman in her early twenties who speaks no English, tries to console the baby. It is not working. So she goes ahead and starts to breast feed the child! Really. I am sitting right here!

We take off. It is just me and the German mom in our row so she moves to the other isle seat. Once the seat belt sign has been turned off a flight attendant appears with a crib that attaches to the wall in front of us. Goodbye leg room. The German mom gets up and tries to arrange the crib comfortably for the baby but she doesn't have enough hands. She hands the baby to me. Awesome. I am holding this baby at arm’s reach hoping that she doesn't get sick at that exact moment. The baby and I stare at each other while the mom works on the crib. I try to make the baby smile by making funny faces but I don't think she got my English humor. She just kept staring at me and gives me weird looks. Once the crib is set up to the mother's liking she put the little baby in it. The baby hates it. It won’t stop crying while in the crib. The total amount of time that baby spent in the crib was about 30 minutes.

For the rest of the flight all the other little kids on the plane, there must have been about 20, stopped by to see and touch the baby. For the majority of them this meant that they had to crawl over me. Where are these kid’s parents? Why are they letting their children run up and down the aisle and why do they think it is okay to let their children crawl all over me?

As it gets later in the flight the hooligans come by less and less. I finally am able to lye back and close my eyes. Only 3 more hours to go. Right as I am drifting off to sleep the baby wakes up and starts to cry.

This is pretty much how I spent my nine hour flight. Holding a little German baby while her mom ate or went to the bathroom, had little kids crawling all over me, and when I wasn't doing either of these I was listen to the baby whale or staring the other direction while his mother feed him. I got no sleep.

I took a picture of the mom and her baby but I have it on my phone. I am not going to be able to post it until I get back into the states. Sorry.

Drugs

After talking with many co-worker I decided that it might be a good idea to go see a doctor and ask for some medication in case I get sick. I go to my doctor and tell him my travel plans. He suggest I take three different medications. One to help me sleep, one to stop the hershey squirts, and one to help me if I can't stop throwing up. I leave the doctor's office thinking I am in good shape.

I call my mother on the way to the pharmacy to pick up my medication. I let her know what the doctor prescribed for me. She said I should probably only take half of a sleeping pill. She then asked me about the medication he gave me for if I start throwing up. I tell her and she says, "You should read the label carefully on the bottle because I don't think those are meant to be swallowed." WHAT! He wants me to do WHAT! No freaking way am I going to do that!

Those 30 minutes it took for the pharmacist to fill my order were the longest minutes ever. He finally calls my name. I grab the pill bottles and read all of them. They all read take by mouth. What a relief.

I really did run away and join a traveling circus!

All in all there are 14 of us, including myself and my BFF. Yea, it’s awesome! And I am not being sarcastic either. It’s truly amazing. I am meeting some of the most interesting, intelligent people I will ever have an opportunity to meet. And they are a riot too!

So let’s see. You already know about Baby Ruthe, JJ, Mr. –italy, and me. So let’s see if I can briefly describe the other 10 folks. You might want to check out a copy of the schedule for this course so you can figure out the initials and titles I’m using. (I am going down the list alphabetically…type A personality at its best.)

Scottsman #1: AD a.k.a. Angela’s BFF (although I am trying my hardest to win him over!!) He is a trip! He and I have gotten along pretty fantastically. He has quite a sweet tooth , loves late 70’s/ early 80’s music, and has worn a pink shirt I think almost everyday! His sense of humor is top notch.

BoSox fan: BF. We all know him and saw him two weeks ago with all the other part-timers who were in town. He is very well-known by many of the Croatians and other instructors even though he is new to our crew. Nicknamed him my Uncle.

Italian princessa: CF. Very talented Doctor/Professor from Milan. Young, chic, speaks a myriad of languages and has traveled with some of these guys before.

Obama: KK. Get this! He is a younger, very handsome replica of our president. For real! Works where Freddy used to work. Funny and down to earth guy who I took the tour of Diocletian’s palace with. I tried to steal his encrypted flash drive, in the end I just let him borrow my puny little boring flash drive so he could present some videos to the participants.

My resident David Otto: RL. I told him before the end of the trip I was going to shove him into the pool, or perhaps even the Adriatic. He keeps messing with my stinkin’ badges and everything else! He works for JJ’s old organization. Super funny, could definitely hang with our crowd, recently back from his honeymoon in Barbados. He also toured the palace and city of Split with me.

AP. This is sad, but I have no idea where he is from. From his title, I’m deducing that he is from the UK--Ireland, perhaps? He sort of looks like a leprechaun with the pointy features and that strawberry blonde hair. In my defense, we have only spoken about the course material and other work-related things AND he lacks an accent (or it’s so slight in comparison to AD, JW, -Italy, PS, DY and all the Croatians’ that I hardly even notice it). He is very polite and personable, and really knows his stuff!

The Admiral: PS. I was incredibly intimidated by him at first, but he is a sweetheart! Very polite, courteous, and thoughtful. Once you crack the tough exterior, he is a very kind-natured man. He often comes up to Schmitaly and me and offers suggestions on things, but we have already done the things he has suggested. I hope to get to know him better before the trip ends!

The Judge: RS. I wish I had a title like his! Could you imagine: Honorable Valerie? Nah, me neither. He is quite the wine aficionado. And he reminds me so much of someone but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I hope speak with him more in depth before the course is over.

Scottsman #2: JW. T-R-O-U-B-L-E! A retired Colonel from the UK (used to be AD's boss' boss) who dabbles in bee-keeping, judging my choice in footwear, a genealogy expert on his last name, and teaching me history, chemistry, biology, and random factoids. I love this man. He is fantastic; if he really could adopt me I would willingly let him. Gives great bear hugs too!

DY. Not only is he a retired General from Israel, but he can also practice the art of Chinese medicine! He knows all about pressure points and how to cure just about any ailment you may have by simply listening to your symptoms and applying the appropriate amount of pressure to the specific location to treat your illness! It’s awesome! He’s fixed the Doctori and RK! No joke!

Please don't tease me when I come home and pronounce all my C's as "ch"

Now where did I leave off?



Ahh, yes. Saturday morning. I met JJ for breakfast and had an amazing omelette, fruit, and bread. We chatted about his life when he lived undercover, how each of his boys have been born in different states, and his time abroad with his agency. He is a pretty funny guy and I enjoy my time with him outside of work and work-related events. We met RK and my BFF, -italy, downstairs in the conference rooms to start setting up the classrooms. There was clucking and bickering about pens, patches, books, pads of paper, tables not having linens on them, turning on the projector BEFORE the laptop. You name it, we discussed it! But all in all, I think everything was essentially taken care of by our logistics support and the hotel staff. Everything was running smoothly.



After our morning prep session, our fabulous multi-lingual superhero Schmitaly ran off to the airport to begin shuttling the other 10 team members in. JJ, Baby Ruthe, and I spent early afternoon exploring the beach and searching for watering holes. The 2 ladies in our trio were the only ones brave enough to venture into the Adriatic. And when I say venture in, I mean, wade in up to our knees. That mother was COLD! RK was ready to dive in, but we kept her on a short leash. We didn’t want her swept away before the course even began!!



We had our own private X –rated show on the beach, as a very confident woman sunbathed on the warm shore much to someone’s liking. I would assume that no name dropping is needed here. I entertained myself by collecting pebbles, climbing on rocks, and kidnapping tiny sea snails. I know what you’re thinking, “Grow up, Booberries!” But I just couldn’t help myself.



We ambled on down the shore and saw my future house on top of a cliff overlooking the sea, found a little pier to hang out on, a cool set of stairs that walk down into the water, and a little café with lizards that I wanted to chase but was afraid to touch. Of course we stopped in and had some local pivo (beer in Croatian).



And after a few hours of exploring in the sun, we decided we should prep some course material and get ready for our arriving team members.

Next I will try to give you a little intro on our team. Sorry for the huge lapse since my last post. After everyone arrived, time just disappeared and since the beginning of the course it’s been a whirlwind.

Water, Water Everywhere

The water in both Kazakhstan and Tajikistan has a very high risk of giving me travelers' diarrhea. All water that I drink will need to either come from a sealed bottle or be purified with the SetriPEN. When I shower I will need to not let any water into my mouth.

The SertiPEN is actually pretty awesome. You put this sort of light bulb thing into the water you want to drink. It emits a light and kills all the bacteria in the water making it safe to drink. I asked Amanda Bear to drink an unknow liquid to see if she would get sick. For some reason she didn't trust me to drink the liquid. What I asked Amanda Bear to drink was tea that had be diluted. And yes it might have been warm water to make it feel like it was at body temperature.

I already know what is going to happen. I am going to get out of the shower, having paid close attention not to open my mouth, and brush my teeth with water from the tap. Or do something even more stupid, like put ice in my glass.

The question is not if I will get sick but rather how long will I be there before I get sick.

so much to do, so little time!

Lots to say, no time to write. I have to get to bed for for class tomorrow, but I just wanted to post this for Smang.

I will update on our tour of Old Towne Split, the VIP par-tay, and other shenanigans soon.

Hey Mickey!

Today has been pretty low-key. I met with the fellas, typed up some drafts, ironed my clothes (which seems easy enough, but you should have seen me trying to work this damn iron), sorted through emails, took a few pictures, and updated key personnel on my status.

This evening we went back to the same restaurant for dinner as we did last night. Something about "expensive" cab fare to get over to the city?? I'm not really sure. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow when BoSox fan, AD (Ang's BFF), and the Admiral get here among other folks. I think does not rhyme with Italy is too. Anywho, today's dinner was pretty uneventful but still delish.

Two pizzas. One for RK an JJ with fresh tomatoes and mushrooms. One for me and my spanish-speaking friend Schmitaly with tomates frescos, ongos, y jamon. We all had a good time shooting the breeze and talked about the most random things. I got a picture of Schmitaly shoving a whole slice of pie in his mouth. JJ wouldnt let me get one of him though!

After dinner, JJ and I had a nice walk along the beach and marina and talked about our futures...together...syke. We did, however, comment on all the stunning yachts we saw and how they all appeared out of nowhere! Seriously, this marina had maybe 3 boats there this morning and tonight there are at least 30 45+feet long yachts out there. He dared me to hop on one so he could take my picture. I was tempted...and if it had been one of you guys, I might have done it, but I chickened out. By the time we got to the end of the marina we saw this sign that said "NO PICTURES" and I sheepishly put my camera away. I'm an idiot. I know.

Tomorrow we are setting up the classroom and picking up the rest of the team from the airport! Maybe I'll sneak down to the casino for karoake tonight? Do you think you'll hear me singing if I belt out the tunes at the top of my lungs?

Just call me Cruella DeVil

So you guys know that I am not really an animal lover...but did you ever think I would stoop so low as to eating DALMATION!?

I did. Only it was Dalmatian prosciutto...on JJ's pizza. So after our aimless wandering through the city, or maybe town, of Podstrana. Where we actually did walk into people's homes accidentally. Well, not all the way in, just into the hallway of the apartment, but I feel like that is enough of an intrusion! Back to the point, we ended up at that restaurant next to the hotel that was a pizza place and JJ was the only one to actually order a pizza. Pepperoni to be exact, but it was actually Dalmatian prosciutto and it was delicious. I could eat that everyday. Perhaps everyday for the rest of my life. The Sultan and I ordered Ivanka salads which consisted of spinach, tuna, shrimp and goat cheese. We asked if the salads were appetizer sized and the waitor said yes....but boy, was he wrong. Thank goodness I had JJ, my human garbage disposal, otherwise I would've been SOL. Schmitaly ordered a caprese salad and garlic bread to start with and he forced me to have some of that as well. I was stuffed before my main course, but wait til you hear what Schmitaly and I ordered. If you have high cholesterol, I suggest you take your meds now. As I mentioned before, JJ got a pizza. RK ordered a sesame-crusted seared tuna, and Schmitaly and I split a Mixed Grill. Oh, a mixed grill? Sounds simple enough, right? Don't roll your eyes just yet!!

Chicken, pork chops, pork loin, ćevapćići (Croatian sausage), another type of sausage, french fries, with ajvar (a type of Croatian red relish). Enough food to feed all four of us...and I ate almost all of my half. JJ helped a little, but only after making me eat a slice of his pizza. So in the end, it wasn't really helping me, it was just a trade off! I thought I was going to die, but it was going to be a good death. It was fantastic! Every painful bite of it! Did I forget to mention the 2 steins---is that appropriate terminology?--of Ozujsko we each had? Aye de mi!

Jenny Craig, here I come!

Zdravo!

No, I'm not drunk. That is how you say hello in hrvatski (Croatian). So...where do I begin?

Let's begin with the airport where I was supposed to meet JJ at the business lounge but that didn't really work out so well. And apparently RK didn't get that memo either, because we didn't meet up with her until we were in line to board the plane! Talk about seeing JJ wound up! But, alas, we all boarded and found our seats. I was wayyyy in the back of the plane and they were seated up towards the front. When do my Frequent Flyer miles kick in? Oh wait, this is my first trip.

HO-kay, so. I was quietly sitting in my aisle seat, 36B, minding my own business, reading the last book of the Golden Compass trilogy because most of the mini tv screens were malfunctioning on our flight, including mine. Before I knew it, Lyra was being woken up and saved from ms. Coulter and theUnited crew started serving drinks and dinner. Chicken and pasta were on the menu but by the time they got to my row, pasta was the only choice. This was fine with me as I prefer pasta over chicken anyday. This was about the time that my neighbor introduced himself to me. Chris, a pilot in the navy from Norfolk (small world, huh?!) on his way to Bahrain for his first mission. Chris just happened to stop in one of the duty free stores prior to his flight and purchased a liter of Maker's Mark. (OttoBock take notes.) We quickly became friends in spite of the fact that he was a UVA alum and discussed politics, sports, and world peace. I'm not sure if the flight attendants noticed that we didn't eat any of our meals or how quickly we were going through cans of seltzer water and cran-apple juice. Oh well. All I know is that when I landed in Frankfurt, I immediately regreted ever meeting this fellow. I didn't sleep at all during my 8 hour trans-Atlantic flight and the time change and dehydration probably didn't help.

Frankfurt: Local time 915am. My body think it's 315am. The Lufthansa business lounge is pretty nice. Croissants, pretzels, streudel, cheese, beeer, wine....what more could a girl want? SLEEP! So, I did. After chit-chatting a bit with the Sultan of Swat and JJ about our game plan, since we didn't get a chance to talk before departing IAD, and eating an amazing croissant, I curled up in a ball and snoozed until it was time to catch our Croatian Air flight.

Croatian air flight: I slept more. I'm not gonna lie. I think they served us food on this flight but I have no idea. It was a little over an hour long and I slept from take off to landing. ZZZzzzZZZ!!

CROATIA:Maybe I am a dork, but I think it's the coolest, yet strangest thing to get off a plane on a runway and walk to a shuttle or building. I have only had to do this maybe once or twice before in my life before, so it always make me really excited. I stepped of the plane and it was a little bit chilly, but it was still awesome to be here! It's beautiful here! Honestly. It reminds me of Puerto Rico. The way the mountains and hills give way to the Adriatic...it's breathtaking! I love it! Everything from the architecture of the little houses to the layout of the gardens with vegetables and trees is so quaint and unique but seems so familiar to me. There are grape vines, olive trees, figs, and then gardens with rows and rows of veggies! It's awesome!

It's been a little bit chilly and drizzling on and off, but the water is still clear and this pretty aqua-teal-blue-green color. Our hotel...oh man. I don't know where to start! Swanky. I'm not coming home. Check out the view from my balcony!!! (that very first photo...I suck at this blog. So take what you can get.) :) More about the hotel later.

Wednesday after we arrived to the hotel around 3ish local time, we went to our rooms, unpacked a bit and met up with the person who's name is spelled like Italy, but doesn't really rhyme with Italy. We walked along the marina and the seashore looking for a restaurant to eat dinner, doing some recon for the participants and VIPs. This was a very interesting walk, as I was starving, the adults were very giddy, and it was very chilly. We walked up several hills, into some apartments, and almost got hit by speeding cars multiple times. But it was all for the sake of finding a good place to eat. In the end, we dined at a restaurant adjacent to the hotel. Go figure!

cue Sugar Ray's "I just want to fly"

I am on my way out the door....to pick up some Tylenol PM and hair mousse in case my flat iron explodes. But my luggage wont zip up for some reason?? Strange, but true.


More to follow.

HOLY SHITAKE MUSHROOMS!

I leave in one week. Yes, next Wednesday, April 29 instead of the original plan of Friday, May 1. I want to throw up.

Don’t get me wrong! I’m excited, but I now have two less days to get all this freaking work done! EEEK! I’m nauseous….or nauseated, as Rachelle would correct me.

Gotta get ready for staff call! BOOBERRIES OUT!

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

The plane ride back wasn't bad. JJ was sitting in front of me. He asked me if I was going to rub his shoulders. He is crazy. Initially there was a guy sitting next to me, but no one sitting on the other side of him (we were in the middle of the plane, I was by the aisle). Before we took off, we realized no one was going to sit on his other side, so he moved over and put a seat between us! Sweet, I can sit in half lotus!

I watched three movies: "Vicky Cristina Barcelona," "Madagascar 2," and "Twilight" three times. I liked all of the movies. I was laughing out loud while I was watching "Madagascar 2," the lemur king is a riot. He was singing "Private Dancer" during one part of the movie.

The food on the plane was good, as usual. I also decided that I'm going to dress up as one of the flight attendants for Austrian Air for Halloween. That, or Willy Wonka. Back to the food, they served us this really good potato salad, which I wouldn't normally eat but I was starving, and now I can't stop thinking about it!! UGH.

I didn't sleep at all during this plane ride. I just watched movies, drank wine, and made bathroom runs when the service carts weren't around. I accidentally left my fly down after one of my many bathroom breaks, that was fun. Luckily I had been sitting down the whole time. Jeez, I'm an idiot!

When we started to make our descent for Dulles, I realized that it was pretty windy out. I don't usually get freaked out on planes, but this plane was different. After they turned off my "Twilight," the screens switched to showing live video of the outside of the plane. So one view showed the runway ahead, another view showed what we were flying over, etc. Landing while its slightly turbulent and watching those videos is freaky!! I had to turn them off, they were making me sick!! I heard the lady behind me describing the throw up bag to her kid... When we landed, the plane touched down for a sec, caught a little wind and bounced up, then landed again. Yikes.

It took forever to get off of the plane so I missed saying bye to DM. I managed to make it onto the shuttle for customs and sat by JJ. He told me to stick with him and he would get me out of the airport quickly. He definitely did!! After customs, we grabbed a couple of carts and our checked luggage and got out of there!! The AV Kit made my cart so heavy I almost couldn't keep it under control!!

I had a taxi drive me home. It was relaxing to sit in the backseat with the windows down and see how "spring" everything looked. When I finally got home, I ran upstairs to let Kiwibear out. When I peaked my head around the corner, she was looking up at me and then, I swear, she did a double-take!! We went for a nice walk and waited for Tiger Woods to get back from the golf tournament.

I slept really good that night.

One Night in Vienna

Before leaving the Podgorica airport I did a bunch of stuff. I checked my big suitcase and the ki all the way to Dulles so I wouldn't have to lug them around Vienna, I pretended to be related to JJ, I bought 12 Kinder Eggs, I watched a video about menopausal women wrecking into each other's cars, and I accidentally walked in on the Principal in the bathroom... Crazy Montengrins!! You need better signs for your restrooms!! Oh, well. Time to board the plane!!

Sweet! A window seat AND no one is sitting next to me?! Thanks Booberries!! I spent most of the beginning of the flight staring at the back of a guy's head and looking at his camera screen while he took pictures. I tried to get a few photos of the mountains, but the stupid propellers kept getting in the way. I ate some bread, had some tea, then decided to try and get some sleep.

Next thing I knew, we were in Vienna!! No need to grab any luggage, I was ready to get into the city!! Vienna sausages, some type of alcohol, buy some souveniers. Well, we had to check into our hotel first. We all piled into yet another van and headed to our lodging for the night.

The hotel was really nice. DM decided to check in and check out as soon as we got there. Meaning, he got his hotel key and closed out his bill all at the same time so he wouldn't have do it the next day. He didn't bother to let the other seven people check in first though. Crazy DM. I ran up to my room to get changed, I was really excited about being in Vienna, until I got up to my hotel room...

The hotel was fine, and I'm sure a normal person would've been fine there. But since I'm afraid of everything and make weird associations, this place freaked me out. It reminded me of the Exorcist and Amityville Horror put together!! I did a Google search for pictures of this hotel, but I couldn't find any. I wonder why...

We walked to a restaurant a few blocks away. Someone mentioned that they heard ribs were really good in Vienna. Next thing I knew, five people have ordered whole racks of ribs. Holy bananas, they are crazy! And you know JJ was one of them!! I wanted comfort food, so I got something that was kinda like macaroni and cheese. It was good, but I got full quickly and also wanted to try the beer. We ordered a couple of apple tarts to share after dinner.

At this point, I realized that we probably weren't going to make it into the city center. Darn it. We walked back to the hotel. The principal, myself and our friend from sounds like "nintendo" hung out in the hotel bar and had a nightcap. I knew I would need one to get to sleep!! A half a glass of wine, one hour and a bunch of good stories later I was headed up to my room. I got ready for bed, requested a wake up call, talked to Jakester and Gabe for a few minutes, then I grabbed Domo and I decided we needed to sleep.

Oh my gosh I was so scared. I laid there and drafted emails in my head, listened to cars and airplanes, pretended that I knew what the people walking by outside were saying, and kept telling myself that I was tired. I was too scared to turn the TV on. The remote was on a stand, and behind the remote on the stand was a very colorful, very bold warning that read "From THE MOMENT you turn on this TV you will be CHARGED!!!!!" I didn't even want to touch the remote incase I accidentally pressed a button, so I immediately put it back. Sleep did not come to me.

The next morning I was so out of it. I "woke up" an hour before my wake up call and decided to just get ready. We had to be out of the hotel at 9am, so I figured hanging out in the lobby was better than hanging in my creepy room. I went downstairs, checked out, then had breakfast. They had really good jam there and I had two huge cups of tea. After breakfast, we had about 40 minutes until the van was going to pick us up, so I grabbed my book and sat on the front steps of the hotel. It was a very nice morning.

Back to the airport. After getting through security I decided that the Vienna airport is a very evil trap. Burberry?? Lacoste?? Swarovski?? Grr... I wasn't getting out of this airport with a cent left!! GAH. I had to keep reminding myself that I needed to buy stuff for OTHERS. I made it to the airport lounge with nothing designer, except what I already owned of course. The lounge we ended up in was awesome!! I made myself a latte, grabbed a croissant and sat down for a bit. It was very nice. I didn't stay there long because I had wasted so much time poking around the stores, so as soon as I had finished my latte, I headed to the gate.

When I got to the gate I realized that this was going to be a VERY full flight, seeing as there was not a single open seat at the gate. Eek. While we were waiting to board, the head honcho decided that we should play "Spot the Americans." I never knew such a game existed!! "I see one!! He's wearing a Dallas Cowboys hat!! Awesome!!" The head honcho then told me that most adult Europeans do not wear baseball hats. He also told me that some wear their wedding rings on their right hand, and that the women usually travel in full velor outfits (AL). That was educational, it was nice to have something to pass the time.

The rest of our team showed up and then it was time to board the plane. Next stop, DULLES!

Last Day in Budva...

Do I really have to leave? I have five hours until I have to leave this place. That's all I could think on the last day in Montenegro.

I couldn't dwell on it for very long though, I had work to do!! A couple of the team members were working on drafting an exercise for an upcoming event, and I offered to type and edit the document for them. They said we would meet after breakfast at 8am... What time did I wake up? 7:15am. Awesome. And I still had to shower, get ready and go have breakfast. CRAP!

I rushed through getting ready and ran down to the cafeteria with wet hair. Screw the curling iron, I didn't have time to get burned again! I planned on just grabbing a few pieces of fruit and heading to the terrace, but when I got to the cafeteria, three of the team members were there having breakfast. One of them was AD, the main person I was supposed to be working with that morning.

When I sat down with them, AD told me that we were meeting for breakfast around 8am and that we would work on the exercise afterwards. Phew!! I had time to eat!!! After eating a quick breakfast, AD and I got to work on the exercise. AD and DM were leaving earlier than the rest of the team that day, so when the exercise draft was complete, the three of us headed down to the ocean.

We collected pretty stones that had been smoothed down by the Adriatic. I found one that was in the shape of a heart!! I gave it to AD to use as a paper weight, and also as a reminder of the fun times we all had in Budva! I collected orange stones for Al and a few bluish green stones for myself. The three of us headed back inside to finish packing. We planned on meeting in the lobby before they left. That gave me about... 40 minutes to pack.

Oh, did I mention I hadn't even STARTED packing yet? Yeah, I had a lot of work to do in a short amount of time. I was running around my room like a crazy person!! With Animal Planet on in the background, of course. I managed to get my big suitcase packed, but was having some trouble getting the AV kit closed. I didn't have time mess with it though, I had to go say bye to my new friend!

Two team members gone, and one hour until we leave. Dang it, I need to pack! I finally finished packing about 20 minutes before our bus left. I ran downstairs to check out and have a bellboy help me with my luggage. While I was in my room getting the rest of my stuff together, my phone rings. Its JJ. He has "sliced" his finger open while packing in a hurry. He needs a band-aid. Well, unfortunately for him, I used the one and only band-aid that was in the kit on my crazy burn earlier that morning (complete side note, but while JJ was asking me for a band-aid and I was explaining that I had used the only one, I happened to look down at my leg and the band-aid was gone!! Gross, I know. Its probably on the lobby floor somewhere...). He opted for gauze and tape. The bellboy watched as I doctored a grown man's finger where he had pulled a little bit of his cuticle back. Oh, JJ.

We all met downstairs and piled into the van promptly at 1pm. The ride to Podgorica wasn't bad, of course I slept the entire way. Its nice being able to curl up and sleep comfortably in two seats. Thank you yoga!

When we got to the aiport, Oli was there to see us off. DM was there to continue on to Vienna with us. It was sad leaving, but I was getting sick of living out of my suitcase... Plus, Oana was traveling with us to Vienna!!

Day 4

Last day of class. Good because I get to go home soon. Bad because I was getting used to being here every day. :(

So. The electrical outlets in Europe are fun. The first time I plugged my hair dryer in and turned it on I immediately smelled burning. And when I turned my curling iron on, the plastic handle was very warm and I noticed that it didn't take as long to curl my hair. Well, on this particular morning I learned something about these electrical outlets.

I was sitting on the floor, watching "Growing up baby Sitka deer," curling my hair, I accidentally put the curling iron on my leg. Yeah, awesome. The mini fridge in my room wasn't on, so I couldn't grab a bottle and put it on the burn. I had to grab a wash cloth and soak it in cold water then put it on the burn. That didn't help much. About five minutes later, I had a humongous, disgusting blister forming on my leg. What a way to start the morning.

No time to think about the burn!! I put some salve on it, got dressed and went downstairs. I had breakfast and got an early start on my work. The last day went by a lot faster than the other days; a lot faster than I wanted it to. Everyone seemed really pleased with the seminar and we all said our goodbyes, packed up and left the classroom. Definitely bittersweet.

Oli, Oana (pronounced Juan-ah) and I changed and headed down to the beach to take photos while the sun was setting. It was a perfect afternoon and we took a lot of great pictures. I also collected a bunch of really neat looking stones.

We went out for dinner one last time in Budva that night. Another seafood place, go figure. Dinner was fun as usual, but you could tell everyone was exhausted. After dinner, we took the van back to the hotel and all went to bed. The last night in Budva was the best sleep I had during the whole trip.

Day 3

Oh my gosh, that morning hurt. Let's wake up and get ready for class. First, I took some tylenol and drank a lot of water. Then I sat on the floor in front of the full length mirror and started to curl my hair while I watched "Growing Up Walrus." That one was cute, and my hair took forever because I was only functioning at about 70%.

Class was normal that day except that everyone consumed far more water than they had during the two previous days of class. Hmm... I guess I wasn't the only one.

I'm trying to remember if I did anything stupid that day... I'm sure I did, but its been so long now that I can't remember. Dang it.

Well, we went to a Chinese place for dinner that night. Yeah, Montenegrin Chinese. I was scared. We go in, we are seated at the largest round table in the place, and the table is equipped with a "Lazy Susan." If you don't know what one is, Google it. Its basically a turntable. We all start ordering food and chatting. The photography nuts are taking artsy pictures of bottles and lamps. The food starts to come out and we realize that we've ordered WAY too much stuff... Its almost as if our waiter took our entire order then wrote "x2!" next to it. So, we made use of the Lazy Susan. We put all of our dishes on the turntable, and would basically spin it until we found a dish we liked. I recommended playing Montenegrin Chinese Roulette!! Spin it reasonably fast, without making food fly off, and you have to eat the dish that it stops on. Even if its just the tentacles left over from the calamari. No one wanted to play with me.

About half way through dinner, DM remembers that its one of our team member's birthdays. So, DM calls our very strange waiter over and asks him if they can arrange some sort of dessert for the occasion. Well, since its a "Chinese" place, they only have fried ice cream and fruit... DM says that will be fine, the waiter leaves to go create this birthday dessert. 2o minutes later, strange waiter returns and whispers something to DM. Sounds like plotting to me. 10 minutes later, there is a large plate making its way to our table via the weird waiter, it is on fire and as it gets closer I realize that the ice cream scoops and fruit are cleverly placed on the dish. Wow. This is funny and embarassing.

After dinner, we all pile in the van and head back. I had homework to do that night, so I stayed up for a little while.

Eating and Drinking

So, Rachel gave me a list of stuff to try. I didn't do a very good job of accomplishing everything on the list. I swear, you other analysts are going to be as busy as I was, so we may need to rethink this scavenger hunt list...





Here is the list from Rachel





Shopska solata - which is a type of salad that JJ had everywhere we went. Pretty simple, I think it was just tomatoes, cucumber, onion, cheese and some other stuff. I didn't try this.





Vampi - I have no idea what this is because when I Google it, I get some comicbook vampire character or whatever. But I don't think I tried this.





Okay, this is taking forever. Here is what I did try. Probably every type of wine they had in Budva, a lot of fish, olives, fish soup (pictured below), their pizza, desserts and some meats. I didn't have rakija, which was probably a good thing. That wine was enough, and the Head Honcho was on my trip. I think that's a good enough excuse.

Day 2

Day 2... It was so long ago that I'm scared I won't remember everything... I'm trying to remember which "Growing up baby" I watched that day on Animal Planet. Oh, right. It was Kalulah the giraffe baby. Okay, so I watched that, got ready for class and went down to breakfast.

I don't recall nodding off in class on Day 2... So I'm pretty sure I didn't. We took the class photo today. We all gathered out on the terrace overlooking the pools and the ocean. There were some mountains in the background, too. It was really pretty. Oli, the guy who drove us to Kotor, was our photographer!! He is a lot of fun and very informative. He took great pictures of the class and is a Photoshop wiz. I bring up the Photoshop thing because one of the participants was a little short and was standing in the back row so all you could see was the top of his bald head. Oli took a new picture of him and Photoshopped his face in. The picture turned out nice.

My new friend is AD. He works closely with us and has an accents. He is very nice and absolutely delightful to talk to. I sat with him at lunch along with another new friend I made, one of the participants. This was the part of the day when I almost used my lovely silk shirt to wipe crumbs off of my face. Classy, I know.

The rest of the day was fine. JJ was doing lunges as usual, DM's lectures were riveting, and the Principal was a comedian.

Later that night we had The Social. That was a good time. It was nice to be out of the classroom and hang out with the participants and instructors. As I've mentioned, there were a lot of photographers on our team, so there were a lot of pictures being snapped that night. I have a CD full of them and they are awesome!! The CM made an awesome toast and even said part of it in the participants' language!! DM also made a toast and made good on a promise - he had all of the participants speaking spanish that night!! The Social was a huge success! To celebrate the team moved the party to the seating area in the lobby. Eventually everyone went their separate ways, since we still had to get up and continue the course the next day.

I went upstairs and got ready for bed then fell asleep watching Animal Cops.

I'M SORRY

I am finally home and am going to post updates on all of the days I missed. I am so sorry, we got really busy on the road. And at the end of the day I was usually so exhausted that all I wanted to do was set out stuff for the next day and go to sleep. Sorry, I suck really bad at this.

Val - you are right about just posting on the day you leave and the day you get back.

Stay tuned... I'm typing away...

Pictures

http://www2.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=356540009/a=60910076_60910076/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfish
Here you go.

Day 2 Summary!

Today was awesome. I have to get ready for the social. Very quickly, here are a few things from today:

- I almost used my shirt as my napkin at lunch today (my blouse has a necktie that hangs in the front...)
- I got to watch my favorite “Growing Up Baby” EVER!! Growing up baby giraffe – Kalulah!!
- I’m uploading my photos to SnapFish because Blogspot is being lame. Didn’t realize that I had over 200 photos… This could take a while.

Will update you guys on the rest of the day later. It's time for booze. I mean dinner.

Email from Alpal - "Funny Blogs"

"So I'm totally loving them! I hope you can get the pics up. I love the one of the iris. I don't have a lot of time to write right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I was in Wal-Mart returning something last night. I was kinda worried about the return cause I wanted to return those tooth pick things (don't work at all don't ever buy them, they just bend and you can't even floss the part between your teeth and gum cause it's too thick) but since I used one I wasn't sure what they'd say. But they gave me the money back so I didn't have to get all pissed off. I did have it out a bit with a Clinique lady last night though debating over a return...interesting that you'd have a dream about that. Clairvoyant maybe???

Hope you're having a great time!!! I had more reactions about the blogs so I'll write those down later.

Miss ya!

~Al"

If you don't know why I posted this email from Al, read my previous posts. You'll figure it out.

HOSTAGES.

Since I can't post pictures of them, you guys have to guess what I have of yours. This should be easy.


David - kinda scary looking, especially on a plane seated behind a small child.

ValPalerizor - sometimes you see this little guy when he's flying at you as you are answering a phone call.

Mandabear - it laid a LemonHead once. And it was born from chocolate.


Just so you guys know, they are all together and are happy. But they are with the LemonHead and will smell all awesome and Pine-sol-y when I get back. :)

Now for the ransoms...

Here's a picture of them:

Here we are in the lounge...

Amandabear: I forgot to tell you that your fish friend traveled the whole way with the LemonHead. MMM.

Day 1

Upon waking up my first thoughts were "Where am I? And why do my legs hurt so badly?" Oh, right. I'm in paradise but tried to kill myself yesterday. Better get up and get ready for class.

Let's turn on Animal Planet and start the day off right!! I watched "Growing Up Black Leopard." Really cute. Got ready for the day. Double and triple checked all of the stuff I was bringing to the class with me, and then headed downstairs for breakfast.

The first day of class was awesome. The participants have a lot to say and are very interesting. Jetlag started to get the better of me around 11:30am. I swear I shut my eyes for a second; JJ then came up and said “no sleeping!” He wasn’t mad; he knew we were all tired. A few times during the day, I looked across the room and saw other team members nodding off. JJ was doing side lunges and other stretches in the back of the classroom; I guess his legs hurt too from our jog.

I wore my best suit on the first day specifically for the class photo. Well, they moved the class photo to Tuesday due to yucky weather. So much for our planning, huh Al?

After class, we had some free time. I came up here and chatted with a few people, uploaded a new post, then got ready for dinner. A few people on the team are photography nuts. They have those huge, high-tech, awesome cameras that make everyone look like movie stars. Well, photography nuts need subjects. They took pictures NONSTOP from the lobby, on the way to dinner, through dinner, and on the way home from dinner. The head honcho kept referring to them as our paparazzi. They were toying with lighting, reflections (cause the rain made the roads look cool), etc. so I guess I can understand why they had to take the same picture five times.

Dinner was fun. Most of us went to a really cozy restaurant. I say cozy because it was tiny. There was a musician there and he played “La Cucaracha” for DM. That was really funny. Then, after playing that song, he finished all of his other songs with “cha cha cha.” It made DM happy, and all of us laugh. Since we had fish two nights in a row, I decided to go for chicken last night. You can’t really mess chicken up, and they served it with rice and potatoes so I was really happy.

After dinner, we came back to the hotel and all went to our respective rooms. I decided that while I was doing my homework, I would “steam” my shirt in the bathroom. I used the bathroom for this because this five star resort’s rooms are not equipped with irons. They have a “pressing service,” which costs about four euro per shirt. Call me cheap, but dang it I like to iron my own stuff! So, what did I do? Turned the hot water on in the shower AND bathtub, hung my shirt up in there (that’s right, ONE shirt), closed the door and let the steam fill the bathroom. Thanks Mom!! I finished my homework, and then got ready for bed. I was exhausted last night, but couldn’t get to sleep. After I finally fell asleep for a while, I woke up because it was ridiculously hot in my room.

I miss you guys. Dad, thanks for commenting on the blogosphere. :):)

KOTOR

I'm just going to get this out there. I didn't go to church on Easter. Sorry, Mom. A few of the people on the team found a service to go to, but the Principal invited me to go take a tour and photograph Kotor... I took a picture of a church, does that count??

Kotor was absolutely amazing. I took a bunch of pictures, but they should've sent a better photographer. I'm sure I didn't do Kotor justice. We were there around 8am, the lighting was perfect!! It was kinda hazy, so the sun and mountains looked awesome. I wish I could post pictures so you guys could see what I mean!! AHH. We walked around the town for a while, took a bunch of pictures, then stopped at a bar and ordered beers. I drank the beer, even though I'm not a huge fan of beer.

After the tour of the town, we decided to go up one of the mountains to take photographs of the bay. Wow. What a drive that was. Apparently, according to Oli, the person who designed the road was madly in love with a woman named Mila and designed the road to spell her name; it was a really windy, mountainous road. Oli also told us that vipers are common in this area. I appreciated the tip, but didn't think I would be out in wooded areas. Well, about half way up the mountain, the beer got to all of us and we had to pull over. Mountain road = no restrooms. Awesome. "Go by the car, Angela. No one will see you." Yeah, not so. I ended up in the woods. With the vipers.

The top of the mountain was AMAZING. You could see the bay of Kotor, look in the direction of Croatia and see something (it was hazy, remember?), AND there was SNOW up there. Amazing.

The drive down was scary. So I went to sleep. Nothing to say about the drive down. We drove back to Budva, had some pizza for lunch and went to set up the classroom.

After classroom set up, I went for a "jog" with JJ and a couple of others. 2 and half hours later and what they say was three miles but I swear I ran 15, I'm walking up to the hotel. I can't feel my legs and my whole body is in pain. Marathons, here I come. Syke. Although I was in an INCREDIBLE amount of pain, I have to say, the run was a really cool way to tour Budva.

We ran along the bay, passed some restaurants, I found a mama dog who was bringing food to her pups, we ran through a freaking tunnel, I met another doggie but this one looked like a fox, and we ran all the way to this really cool island. And on the way back, we ran by a watch donkey. By watch donkey I mean it was a donkey, in the front yard, hee-hawing at every person that walked by. I'm getting one. We also ran by the mama dog and her puppies. They almost made me cry. I miss Kiwibear lots. Oh! AND! The little fox dog RAN WITH US!! She was awesome!! Think of three dog names, I'm bringing them home with me.

Came back, took a bath, and got ready for dinner. That hurt. Dinner was good. There was a cat in the restaurant, she was sitting under my chair. I swear, I'm just radiating with my feelings of missing Kiwi. I keep attracting these animals. Oh, I left out the little dog I met in Kotor, too. But I have a picture of her, she was awesome. Followed us all around the town. AND I DIDN'T FEED ANY OF THEM, so don't say its because of that.

I Ate a Fish Eye...

The hotel room is sweet.  I took a bunch of photos when I got in yesterday.  Most of the TV channels are in english.  The most important channel - ANIMAL PLANET!  :) :) 

We went to a nice little seafood restaurant for dinner last night.  It was right on the water and became quite chilly after the sunset.  We ordered a whole fish for the table to share and it was awesome!  DM and I ate fish soup AND fish eyes.  I told them about Dad giving fish eyes in place of Tylenol to his buddies when they were drunk.  I've got a really sweet picture of DM with a fish eye in his mouth.  Will post it as soon as I can.  I may just post them on Facebook to get them up.

I went to bed around 10:45 last night.  There is no fan or loud AC unit in this room so it was hard to stay sleep.  Luckily, I was really tired and immediately fell asleep.  After a few hours, I tossed and turned.  I woke up at 5:45.  I still feel  a little tired, but its that tired you feel when you get up for a normal work day.  I figure this will help me sleep later.  

When I woke up I could see the moon on one side of the little bay outside; and behind the other side, I could see brightness behind the rock/cliff.  It was really neat.  I tried to wait for the sun to come around the rocks, but man its taking for ever!!  Come on sun!!  

Al - I had a dream about you last night.  You were wearing that purple 80s looking shirt and we were shopping at a place that looked like wal-mart.  But, you got mad at someone because they wouldn't help us or let us return something.  I think it was that we couldn't return something.  It was weird.  And you were livid.

We are headed to Kotor today.  It looks to be a little bay town.  A few of the team members want to make it to church, and Ernie is always looking for a photo-op, so off we go!!  Today will be the warmest day of the week, I'm very excited for the near 80 degree weather.  When we get back from Kotor, it will be time to do actual work.  Setting up the classroom.  Yay!  

 I need to eat something before we leave...

The Real Thing

UPDATED WITH PICTURES

Vienna to Podgorica

That's right, kids. Our plane functions off of propellers. Awesome.

The arial view of Vienna is pretty neat. It reminds me of those crayons we had when we were little; the ones that had like eight colors in one. Or a Butcher's block; with all the different shades and lengths of the wood pieces put together. And there are windmills dotting the different patches.

There are very few people on this flight, so after boarding we were able to spread out.

The food on Austrian Air is very good. This was my lunch.

JJ is all about the chocolate mousse, lounging with his socks off and doing standing stretches in the front of the plane. He's actually pretty fun to travel with. I'll let you know if that changes when the course starts...

This flight is only an hour and 20 minutes. I've already fallen asleep for 10 minutes on this plane!! I also slept for about 20 minutes in the "reading corner," along with DM and the Principal, before we boarded for Podgorica. I'm feeling okay right about now. I can't wait to get to Budva, it sounds like we already have dinner plans. Woo!!

Wild World (cover)

Layover in Vienna...

It is now 3am in DC.  I slept for maybe an hour on the plane.  Watched three movies.  Ate an entire bag of twizzlers.  Read two chapters in my book about lies.  And have now had two cups of tea.  

The frequent fliers got us into another lounge.  It kinda looks like the "reading corner" of a kindergarten classroom.  Big purple irises painted on the walls...  I can't complain though.  They are very happy flowers :)  Al - you would like them... Very detailed.  They make me feel like I'm in "Honey, I shrunk the kids."  Upon arriving in this exclusive lounge, we discovered a full bar...  Bloody marys, beers, mimosas followed.  Collectively.  Not just for me.  

The group conversation has gone from the Somali pirates, to Twittering, to "When I was your age...," to kids, to guns...  Yep.  DM fell asleep in one of the lounge chairs and is snoring.  

Our flight to Podgorica leaves in about three hours.  Then a bus ride.  I'm updating my iPod for the rest of the trip...